From The Heart…

So, 

I think I’ve hit the nail on the head, I’ve gone on and on just recently about me having a bit of a confidence slump and feeling a bit not like me, yeh I know you’re all sick of hearing about it, but I think I know what’s wrong! 

The thing is, I’ve been trying so hard to look like so many other people I’ve forgotten how to look like me!

I love the blogging world, I love fashion, I love ohh’ing and ahh’ing over pretty outfits and beautiful clothes and beautiful people, but that ohhh’ing and ahhh’ing has turned into something a little bit dangerous for me, the more I looked at all those beautiful images I started thinking to myself ‘oh my god, I don’t look like that!’. I’ve been trying desperately, aimlessly to change my style or how I looked, getting frustrated because my outfits just didn’t look quite right and that’s been an odd cycle to go through that it’s caused me a bit of a confidence melt down.

Since stumbling upon this road to loving myself and enjoying who I am I’ve loved having that freedom to just be who I want to be, dress how I want to dress and love it. But I’ve doubted myself, massively recently. Why? I don’t know! 

Since beginning blogging I have gained a little bit of weight which has pushed me into a slightly higher size bracket than what I’m used to. I used to comfortably wear a size 26, now I’m more of a comfortable size 30. Now, don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate myself or anything but it’s really hard to grasp sometimes. I’m only human and change is hard, I’m like every other woman who has down days and up days. 

I’ve even started doing things like blaming the fact that I’m single on my size, doing that thing that I tell other people off for! It’s so ridiculous! I’ve been fat as long as I can remember, I’ve never had problems with meeting partners in the past, so why all of a sudden now? It’s crazy isn’t it!? Someone give me a good hard kick up the bum!
When the majority of plus size clothing lines end at a UK size 26 and you’re sat staring longingly at a dress which you know isn’t going to fit is a little disheartening. I’m not all of a sudden going to proclaim that I’m on some crazy crash diet or something, no, not at all (I’m sat here munching pretzels and drinking tea), but as a blogger it can be a little difficult staring in at a world that has very limited channels of acceptance as it is, to then break into a new realm of size isolation, it’s like you have to re-learn the game again! I’ve started to feel like my size meant I couldn’t properly keep up in the plus size blogging world because I couldn’t wear all of the styles and outfits I’d been looking at longingly because a lot of them just aren’t made to my new size 30 specifications.

This isn’t to say that I believe my struggle is anymore desperate or difficult to that of anyone else because it isn’t, but I wanted to share this from the heart and hoped that maybe you could relate to it too. We all go through our own personal struggles in our own little ways and I’m no exception. I haven’t written from the heart on here for ages and I kind of felt like I needed to share everything that’s going on with my own personal struggle with you all, so, here I admit it, I’ve struggled with my new size, that’s it!
I want to go back to feeling like me, I don’t care if I’m not the most stylish, trend setting, fashion forward blogger. I love me and my pretty dresses and my endless box of ballet flats. Yep, I’ve definitely taken a little turn style wise with more boyish outfits and bracing new things which is right for me and I love it, but this post is to remind me, that I am allowed to be me! My blog is about me and my outfits and my thoughts and my ramblings.
We’re all so beautiful and unique in so many ways and that’s the beauty of the blogosphere. There’s a space and place for everyone no matter what your shape, size or style.

I feel a need to take a delve back into the past….


Ahhhhhh! Old times! I loved these pictures and these outfits, nothing to do with what size I was as I’m varying sizes in all of them I just look back and remember feeling fantastic in each and every one of those moments! In the end, it’s OK to have a blip, a bit of a ‘off moment’ because those are the things that make us human, make us realise when we maybe need to change things for the better and I am a firm believer of ‘if it’s broke then FIX IT!’ which is exactly what I am working to do.

Thank you for listening my loves, it’s been nice to get back down to basics and be the Naomi I was at the beginning, talking honestly and openly because this is what this space is about, I don’t care what retailer does or doesn’t want to work with me, or constantly trying to be the most stylish or most coveted blogger, that has never been what this blog is about, this is a space for feeling good, looking good, being amazing and ranting and rambling about the things I love and loathe! Thanks for sticking with me…
BIG LOVE
XOXOXOX

14 Comments

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  1. 1
    Hsquared Blue

    I absolutely love this post. The past week I've been a bit wierd on what to wear to school as I want to present myself better and make an effort when going into school. I love that your sharing your thoughts as it helps me to stay positive and just be happy with my plus size. Since coming into Blogging-Hood, I had been scared but with people like you who spread a positive message just makes loads of us smile and carry on πŸ™‚

    Your beautiful girlll!!! xoxoxxx

    hsquaredblue.blogspot.co.uk

  2. 2
    Just me Leah

    Oh, Naomi, I wish I could reach through my screen and hug you. You were one of the first plus size bloggers I started reading and you gave me the confidence to start being braver in fashion.

    Like you, my body has changed a little since I've been blogging. I have IBS and cysts on my ovaries so my tum is always really badly swollen and I look 5 months pregnant all the time (to my mind anyway.) I've always been fat, but this recent loss of any discernible waistline has really knocked my confidence.

    It's totally possible to still be really body posi about ourselves (and others) and still be a little uneasy about things which have changed in us recently. I think it takes time for us to get used to a 'new body' situation. I also get you on the slight feeling left out of things, being on the larger side of plus side myself.

    It sounds like you've given yourself a proper pep talk and it's great how blogging your thoughts can do that.

    Leah x x x

    Just me Leah

  3. 3
    Helen

    I love this post and your honesty. You're right that a blog should be individual and not conform and you shouldn't be worrying about being 'fashionable' or conforming.

    You are beautiful and I'm sure your new style is still amazing. You always look great. We all change our styles and how we look etc. That's natural. Don't worry about your readers not sticking with you!

    Sending hugs over the blogosphere!

    http://everyoneshouldsparkle.blogspot.co.uk/

  4. 4
    Sian x

    You are so wonderful inside and out, and I hope you realise how special and gorgeous you are! I've missed your blog posts, and love you, for being so honest! I read your blog, before I started my own, and always admired your infectious personality!

    Hopefully I'll get to see you soon!

    Tons of love xxx

  5. 5
    Becky Barnes

    Loved you then, love you now. I can totally identify with your feelings. I often find myself thinking I'm not trendy enough, or bold enough, or colourful enough and everything in-between. You always look amazing and I'm sure you'll continue to do so x x x x

  6. 6
    Zara - Lifes Pretty Visions (Irish Beauty Blog)

    I know exactly how you feel. It can get so difficult but with the right support from friends and family, things can get easier. You are so pretty and never forget that. Some people cannot accept that people come in all different shapes and sizes, but what's most important is for you to know that you are beautiful.

    Zara
    x

  7. 7
    Danielle Vanier

    Nomi,

    You are an actual delight. I am so happy that blogging has bought us together. You should never try to be anyone else but yourself because YOU are so fabulous. You always look incredible and that smile of yours is infectious. There have been a number of things I have bout because Ive seen them on you..that red leopard asos swing dress being the most recent.
    You are incredible and your space you have created here is fab.
    love to you Danie xxxx

  8. 8
    CJ Rea

    I don't care what size you are, you always look fabulous! You and your blog are a total inspiration to me! I love seeing your outfits and reading your blog,. You are such a beautiful person and you (and all the other plus size bloggers) have really helped me accept myself as I am and for the first time in roughly 15 years, I'm not on a diet, I eat what I want and I'm living a guilt free fat girl life! I'm slowly learning to love my size 22 arse and that's all down to you lol! You are fab , and I love your blog, whatever size you are. Waffle over ;0). Xx

  9. 10
    Betty Pamper

    I totally know where you are coming from. Blogging can open so many doors but it can sometimes mean you lose perspective about your own style. You always look amazing and have the most gorgeous eyelashes x

  10. 11
    withwonderandwhimsy.com

    I think you're voicing what a lot of women feel, and your feelings are completely understandable and don't discount your confidence or style whatsoever. Ruts are perfectly normal in all areas of our lives: self-image, success, relationships, career, etc., and I understand how frustrating it is to not really know what's wrong or how to fix it. I think it's something you have to continually reflect on and push through.

    Reading fashion blogs can be equal parts inspiring and intimidating. I'm currently on a tight budget, and I feel self-conscious about continually reworking the same pieces when so many other bloggers are always sporting the latest thing. But at the same time, I'm learning how versatile some of my pieces are that I can stretch my closet if I just get creative.

    It sounds like you have a good amount of self-awareness and because you're willing to discuss your ups and downs, I hope you'll work through it and come out feeling inspired. πŸ™‚

    Liz

  11. 12
    Laura Wildey

    OH I LOVE THIS! This blog post say's a lot of how I am feeling at the moment. I have stayed the same size as always but I feel I am going through a bit of an image crisis. Blogging deffinately gives you a forum to envy other people. Rather than envy their bodies for me it's envy of their style and how they carry themselves. I feel very much stuck in a rut at the moment. I have so many beautiful clothes but I feel like a slob in all of them. I have yet to have the revelation you have had and unfortunately it is keeping me away from my blog. You go lady you're awesome x

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