Monday, 23 April 2012

Fat Bitch!

The power of words astounds me. For as long as I can remember I have always been a 'Fat Bitch'. Strangers on the street call me a 'Fat Bitch', people who I know have more than likely called me a 'Fat Bitch' at times, heck, even family members have called me a 'Fat Bitch'. You see, as long as I am fat, my fat will always prefix any insult that is hurled at me. I'll never just be a 'Bitch', a 'Cunt', a 'Fucker', my being fat is extra ammunition to give hurtful words even more stealth. 

I don't even have to have done anything particular to an individual to be granted 'Fat Bitch' status, my just being alive is enough to warrant a torrent of unfounded abuse. In no way do I write this because I'm sat here thinking poor little me, but I was surprised recently by an online friend of mines recent Facebook status. 

Said friend made reference to the weight of a jockey in the recent Grand National, his status went along the lines of '...Some of these jockey's are fat bastards really.' Now, I know people make throw away comments like this all of the time, it's not even thought of, it's generally accepted that the word fat should always be prefixed by something particularly negative. I text my friend to ask him about it, and innocently he replied 'I guess I didn't think about it's negativity when I said it.' Fair enough I thought, but then I thought again, why, is it accepted that as a fat person you DESERVE to be insulted? I know my friend meant nothing by his words, but it just proved that when people talk about fat, it is more than likely ALWAYS negative and it is always ok to say those things. Here is a list of some of my favourite FAT insults, which I have been called on many ocassions, mainly, for no other reason than just because I am alive and dare to go out in public......

FAT BITCH
FAT SLUT
UGLY FAT COW
FAT BASTARD
FAT SHIT
YOU'D BE SO PRETTY IF YOU WEREN'T FAT

I can pretty much guarantee that if I were to swap the 'F' 'A' 'T' word in that list of insults with the word 'skinny' and post them all over my Facebook I would be annihilated imminently and suffer another round of generally accepted fat insults. But that's ok, right? Because I'm fat, I deserve it? I searched the words 'Fat Bitch' in Google and came across a clip from a stand up show called FAT BITCH! by Erica Watson.  Towards the end of the clip Erica's words are quite poignant on how society has already set it's limitations on fat people and dare we move out of those confines....

I will continue to use the 'Fat' word positively, but in the meantime, I may always be a 'Fat Bitch' but being an 'Ignorant Bully' is never ok.....


8 comments:

Just me, Leah said...

People fucking suck sometimes! This will never be OK and we need to keep telling these stories so people know it's not OK, ESPECIALLY from the people closest to us xoxo

Louise said...

I really HATE how society thinks it's alright to voice their hatred of fat. If it was any other description meant as an insult- ie. black,Chinese, skinny, Muslim- anything else at all, there would be outrage and a whole fleet of people (rightly so) backing up the victim. But the word FAT is apparently hilarious and nobody is ever criticized for using the term.

I was once sat with a dozen colleagues in the staff room at work, who were laughing at the size of a woman in a newspaper. The woman was at least a UK 24, and although i'm several sizes smaller, i felt so self-conscious and angry. There was also another colleague around the table larger than this lady. But they thought it was perfectly acceptable to make fun of the woman in the paper. It just made me wonder what they thought of me. And why they couldn't accept people no matter what their clothing size was. I don't judge a person by their size. Why can't everybody else?

.x.Sarah.x. said...

It really disgusts me how people find it acceptable to insult others on their physical appearance...weight in particular!

I've had all of those things you listed yelled or said to me...mostly by people I don't know. I think the worst I've had is on a night out I walked past some guys my age or possibly younger who made pig noises before yelling "fat b*tch lose some weight!"

What's equally as bad is when someone or a group of people look you up and down, whisper and then laugh. I'm not sure if that's worse than having things yelled at you?! I'm getting a bit thicker skinned with it all but it used to really upset me and on some days when I'm not feeling so great it does get to me.

Mrs BeBe said...

Love this!! Great minds think alike, I blogged around this subject last night and so did Lolly, inthink there's been a lot of talk around the subject too. It's never ok to make another human being feel like shit x x

Laura Darby said...

I feel the same way, especially after reading Beckys update last night. It defo got me thinking. My favourite one was "you'd be so pretty if you weren't so big" and that was close family members. When I first started dating my husband my own mum joked and asked if he was a "chubby chaser" so I hear you girl

Monkey said...

In a world where you are arrested for being racist, vilified for being homophobic, fired for being sexist it dumbfounds me that being rude about someone's size is perfectly acceptable.

I too have been on the receiving end of these type of comments and when I was younger it used to really upset me. Now I just give back as good as I get. But like with antisocial behaviour it needs everyone to call people up on it when it happens. However, given the current attititude by ALL walks of life about OMGBIESTY this isn't going to happen over night.

BUT we should all call people up on this - even just asking them "I'm sorry what did you just say?" in a polite and even tone will throw them. You see, like all bullies, they don't know what to do when someone fights back.

Excellent post Naomi.

Em. x. said...

This is a great post. Next time I see you, remind me to tell you a story. There was a girl in a line at an airport who had been rude to Darcy and I, and then (some five minutes later), started making bloated fat faces at me. I called her on it in front of everyone in a customs line (PACKED) and SHE was humiliated (by her own behaviour, really).

I agree with everything Monkey has written too.

In fact, your post really resonates and I like that in taking ownership of the word FAT we can really change the tone of it. When I hear people I know make slurs on people now, with the word "fat" infront - I ask - "What do you mean by she's a FAT bitch, how is that relevant? You see, I'm quite fat, so what do you mean by FAT bitch?" - It makes people stop and think at least.

To me - you are one of the most gorgeous people I know. In this little world of ours - you were someone I met and immediately felt comfortable with. I actually think I chatted more easily with you than with anyone else, the first time I met you in person, and that says a lot. To others, you may occasionally be a fat bitch, and so might I - but you're right: ignorance and bullying are crap and never okay.

Such a great post, Naomi.

wait until the sunset said...

This is a great post Naomi.

It's funny, the other day at the shops I was in waiting for a guy to pull out of a carpark so I could take his space. He drove off and just as I was about to pull in- a woman from the other direction sped in and took the park. I honked the horn and told her I had been waiting so she viciously backed out and yelled out to me- 'I only gave it to your because your fat!'.

I was literally dumbfounded. This woman had to be about 50. From everything she has no doubt seen and done, the only thing she could use to insult me, was that I was fat?! How ridiculous. It's like being yelled out for being white, or female, or having blonde hair. I mean honestly, thanks for the heads up lady, I had already noticed I'm fat. I also happen to be beautiful. Maybe she could yell that out next time

' I only gave it to you because you are so beautiful and fat'

It's basically the same 'insult'. Thanks bitch! ;)